Are you a nice person in real life? Do all your friends and family think you’re a wonderful person, wouldn’t hurt a fly, would love to have a beer with you?
Then why are you such a jerk online?
I hear a lot of talk about authenticity, and whether someone like Guy Kawasaki should have a ghost Twitterer. (He doesn’t. He has two.) Or whether it’s appropriate to send nothing but broadcast tweets for your online business. (It’s not.) We bandy about the word “authenticity,” defining it as being truthful and honest about disseminating your own thoughts.
Yet, I’m struck by some of the personal inauthenticity I see between online personas and their real-world counterparts.
While most of the people I know match their online and offline personalities very well — most are pleasant, a couple are complete jerks — I’m surprised at the number of people who are all sunshine and merriness when I meet them, but they turn into spiteful, nasty, snarky Mr. and Ms. Hyde when they get in front of their computer.
True authenticity means you need to match your two personalities. If you’re a nice person in the real world, be a nice one in the virtual world. If you want to be a jerk online, be a jerk offline. Don’t hide behind the anonymity of your keyboard and think you’re somehow safe from being found out.
The problem with social media these days is we know who each other is. Our avatars are plastered all over our Twitter and Facebook pages. We link to our blogs, where we talk about our jobs and personal lives. And, at least in this community, we meet each other out in the real world.
Photo: AFSilva
About Erik Deckers
I think the same is true for getting behind the wheel of a car. So many people who seem so nice in person turn into jerks on the road. I hope its not the case that this is their true authentic self. However, we all have two sides. I think our goal is to move to a more enlightened individual who learns to contemplate actions before taking them – whether on the road, in the store, or on your twitters. Thanks for your post. Very interesting.
Yesterday, for Follow Friday, a new follower @billbateman1 characterized me as one who does “purposeful” tweeting:
http://twitter.com/BillBateman1/status/5696193152
which meant a lot to me because I try to live my life with purpose so I’m glad that shows in my online persona as well.
On a lower note, I suppose my blogging is also authentic because I am about as “prolific” a blogger as I am at offline writing as well :-(
Anyway, I suppose many people are being “authentic” because the level of discourse in their online expression is probably at about the same (low) level of discourse as their face-to-face conversations. I’ve been meaning to say something about that so I guess that this is about as good a place as any. In that case, I’m hoping that raising the level of discourse in their online conversations MIGHT actually contribute positively to helping to raise the level of discourse in their face-to-face conversations if they learn to stop and THINK about what they’re going to say in either case!
I will now “step down from my soapbox” :-)
I was going make a snarky comment and then I read Robby’s comment. The only thing I have left to say is:
Good post and I agree with Robby.
.-= Kyle Lacy´s last blog ..Integrate Social Media into Your Marketing Strategy =-.
Awesome post, ED.
I have multiple personalities, and thusly my Tweets/posts/blogs are equally as schizophrenic. But it’s all me. And me.
;)
Personally, I think I’m as much of a jerk in real life as I am online. I call people out and ask hard questions everywhere.
However, I do think the web gives provides a strange framework for human interaction. It’s slower than spoken conversation, but faster than the postal service. It’s impersonal in the sense that you can’t see the body language of recipients, but impactful words are written, read, and re-read by many. A hateful comment, invective interjection or brilliant phrasing may be consumed by same person countless times. In person, words vanish into the ether, and you only have your memory. Online, they live forever, and may be copied and pasted everywhere.
If you pause to collect your thoughts in person, your contemplative spirit is clear to the audience. If you explode in an emotional outburst, you can cover it with apology. But online, you have as much time as you want to reply, and no matter how many times you say “I’m sorry” you will never erase the Google cache. I do think we need to be more consistent with our online and offline personalities, but we also need to be more understanding. This is a new medium for communication, whereas dinner parties and coffee conversations are truly ancient. We’re just figuring out how to talk online. It’s okay if sometimes we sound different.
@robbyslaughter
.-= Robby Slaughter´s last blog ..Kingdoms in the Company =-.
Sorry…..”Erik”! =)
.-= Chris Zaugg´s last blog ..A day in April, 1968. =-.
Couldn’t agree more, Eric! As Scott Naylor says….THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE!
Let’s all act like it.